superseriousstats is a small and efficient program written in PHP to create a Web page with statistics out of various types of IRC logs. Data is stored incrementally using either SQLite or MySQL, therefore only logs containing new chat activity need to be parsed on any consecutive run. superseriousstats automatically continues where it last left off. The program is capable of generating statistics for IRC channels of any size and volume. It is also quite suitable to run at an increased frequency, for example once every hour or even less!